Top 10 Cultural Practices in Need of Resurrection

 As I was deploring our culture's lack of sufficient Christmas celebration the other day, I began to consider some other extinct (or at least endangered) cultural practices that ought to be renewed for the good and fun of all:

1. Saying “How do you do?” My girls do say this, much to the amusement of adults, mostly because I read plenty of old books to them. And, well, it is pretty cute to see their chubby hands held out in introduction, to hear the slurred English accents... Honestly, though, what an excellent greeting this was. It encourages you to stop and think about the person you're meeting, to care about them as an individual. And it sounds much better than “Hey, how are ya?”

2. The term “macaroni,” not referring to the little c-shaped pasta. Someone please comment and tell me I'm not the only person who would enjoy it if this was used as a fashion adjective again, as in: “Colin Firth made an appearance at the premiere, looking absolutely macaroni in a new Prada suit.”

3. More feast days. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate veterans and past presidents and fallen heroes as much as the next American—actually, probably a lot more than the average American—but the holidays in the U.S. just can't hold a candle to medieval Europe. Processions! Fairs! Meat on Fridays! Pancakes! Mardi Gras should totally be a National Holiday, followed by a National Forty Days of Fasting and the biggest party ever on Easter. With a procession.

4. Courtship. With all our modern dating practices, we've practically made impossible the kind of spontaneous proposals you find in Pride and Prejudice or Anne of the Island. What girl doesn't want spontaneous moonlight proposals? Not to mention passionate hand-kissing when the chaperone's back is turned, burning gazes across a crowded dance floor and other scandalous, wonderful things like that. And just the word “beau.”

5. Speaking of crowded dance floors...Real dances. Starting with contra dancing (think Jane Austen again) and continuing on with a mastery of the waltz, minuet, and hey, a little tango and swing for good measure. My husband and I have turned a few eyes when we ballroom dance to modern pop songs at weddings, but it should be the norm. (Also, a little more evidence of my nerdiness: I was one of the founding members of the completely awesome Contra Dance Society at my college. We regularly had at least fifteen girls and three guys attend. Yup.)

 

6. Certain exclamations, such as “Drat!” “Blast!” and “Goodness gracious!” In fact, we could even abbreviate them for texting ease: “u saw him? GG!”

7. Hats. I want to wear something on my head that I can call a “darling concoction” like Betsy Ray.

8. Illustrated magazine covers, billboards and advertisements. So the Norman Rockwells and Alphonse Muchas of today don't have to live on Ramen.

9. Breeches. I have a feeling I'm not going to get enthusiastic male support on this one, but guys—just like you can acknowledge that we ladies look better in cute skirts than in sweatpants, I'd like to put forward for the record that breeches are a lot more flattering to the male form than long pants. Also, trousers were brought into style by a group called the sans-culottes (this translates to without breeches)...you may remember them as the anti-government, anti-God, nobility-killing terrorists behind the French Revolution. Does wearing pants make you a terrorist? No. But I still say breeches would be quite a statement.

10. Musical performance as a social activity. As in, “Goodness gracious! Look at the new sheet music in the bookstore window! I'm going to buy a copy and learn it so we can all gather around the piano and sing on Friday night.”

Oh, well (and blast!). I suppose these days are past. Anyone wonder why I write historical fiction? ;)

What are your favorite extinct/endangered cultural practices?