The blind leading the lame


Lucy, our four-year-old, is endeavoring to teach her two-year-old sister Zoe to “talk right.” The results are pretty humorous:

Zoe: (looking at the green monster “Mike Wazowski” in a Monsters Incorporated picture book) This Mike Asky-Asky.
Lucy: No, Zoe. That's Mike Tchaikovsky.

OR:

Zoe: Hi, Annie-Ann!
Lucy: No, say Raggy Ann. Like this: Rag.
Zoe: Rag.
Lucy: Gee.
Zoe: Gee.
Lucy: Ann.
Zoe: Ann.
Lucy: See, Raggy Ann!
Mama: Actually, Lucy, her name is Raggedy Ann.
Lucy: What? Is that her name in the book?
Mama: Yep.
Lucy: (annoyed) Well, we're calling her Raggy Ann, cuz that other name is too hard to say.

I laughed (afterward, in private).

But then I had to consider: how often do I do the same thing? I've probably given my children the wrong answer a few times (my explanation of the wind, for example, was severely lacking—thank goodness their Papa is more scientifically-minded than I...), and they haven't even started in on the really tricky questions.

And as a writer, I know I've felt just like Lucy must have: I had all the answers—about somebody else's writing. Maybe I couldn't do it myself—but I could tell someone else where they had messed up. I know now, that in some of the early critiques I gave, I was over-eager to come up with a solution for every problem. I cringe to think how many times this may have confused or misled rather than helped.
Nowadays, I try to be very careful and very thoughtful. I do point out problems, but I'm reluctant to suggest solutions unless I'm very sure of them—and if I feel they fit with the author's intention for their story.
And I'm very grateful for my wonderful critique partners, who have always helped me this way, and who helped me learn through their example how to assist them.

Of course, sometimes things seem like obvious problems that need to be fixed, and even they are actually perfect little moments of the voice that brings the story to life. Which is why I'm off to play with Mike Tchaikovsky and Raggy Ann now.

Comments

  1. Aw ... my kids still correct each other and sometimes they both have the wrong idea. Only now, they get highly defensive, so are constantly looking things up in books or the net.

    It is not always easy to give a good critique. I find that asking questions is the best, and when the author answers they have pretty much solved their own problem. With my students, I often guide them through this process, playing What If with them ... and most of them learn how to do this, to explore possibilities, dig deeper.

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  2. How I love your examples! I laughed out loud!

    I'm sure I'm guilty of this, too. It's so important not to barge into other people's writing, guns blazing. It seems so much easier to see solutions to other people's novel problems than my own, I think I have been guilty of being over confident at times. Thanks for the reminder, Faith!

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  3. I have a four year old ... they are so precious!

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  4. Yes, you're so right about the harsh crits. I started out in my crit group throwing in all kinds of commas for others, till I got edited myself, at which point I realized we don't need those commas if it hinders the flow (and isn't grammatically horrifying). We have to be really careful to try not to make everyone write the same way we do, recognizing their individual strengths without turning a blind eye to gross problems that need to be addressed (as Mama did above, by trying to explain how to say "Raggedy Ann!").

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  5. That is so sweet. I miss those days when my little girl was four. or two. ;-)

    I'm quite confident you give lovely critiques with thoughtful, helpful comments. :-) I don't think you should worry about pointing out what seems off to you - it's our job as the writer, to sort through and use those that are most helpful to the story.

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  6. Good point. I think it is important for crit partners to identify problems,but I agree that you don't need to always suggest the solution. I suppose that becoming a valued critique partner takes time and experience (and trial and error) just like everything else in life including writing.

    This is a very useful post.

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  7. I miss those 'little people' conversations now my children are older.

    I have a good friend who edited my book for me. She pointed out where things didn't quite make sense or where characters were lacking, but left me to work out how to fix it. The book is, I think, the stronger for it and I'm now more aware of where problems can occur.

    Great post!

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  8. Aw! I love it when the little ones first learn talking. I've always noted down kids words. I find they are funniest around age 3 ;)

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  9. LOL, too cute!! I can just picture it.

    Oh yes, I also have my share of cringe-critique-moments. Thanks for reminding me : ) Haha.

    It takes just as much practice to know what to do with the critiques received, what makes sense and what to discard.

    Writing is always a process, isn't it? But I suppose that's why we love it so much.

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