Dear Creative Mama of Little Ones

I see you. You're trying your hardest to get up before the dawn--or at least before your toddler, whichever comes first--but you are so exhausted. You're making breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks on the hour. The laundry appears to be breeding, because every time you get down to the last two armfuls in the basket, another six appear out of nowhere. You have some amazing successes with your work despite all that--but you find yourself hoping no one stops by, because that new chapter or painting or flower arrangement came at the expense of your daily vacuuming, and there are mysterious crumbs from some snack you didn't even make all over the floors.

I get it. I've spent a lot of my life there.

Years ago, when I was exactly where you are, author Rosanne Parry gave me some unsolicited, wonderful advice. She told me to invest in training my little ones. She laid out a beautiful fairy tale vision of older children, once trained and supervised and taught as little ones, stepping up to be part of her creative team by cooking dinners and doing their own laundry and vacuuming up mysterious snack crumbs all on their own.

You'll lose a little time now, she said. But it will be worth it.

She was right. Now, with six children filling my house to the eaves and another on the way, I find my days are getting calmer in many ways than they were when I had three or four. It's a slow process--but one day you wake up and realize you don't have to bake that apple pie for Thanksgiving, because your 10- and 12-year olds are more than capable of making it on their own. You don't have to worry about Christmas cookie baking, because your older kids have got it. They make wreaths for your doors and sweep up the spruce needles and holly berries without being asked. They read books aloud to their siblings while you write a chapter of your own book. They sit and paint with you--after bringing you a cup of tea. Their room looks like a hurricane hit it, because maybe you've overemphasized creativity and independence lately, so they've generously allowed the toddlers to set up a paper cutting and gluing station right in the middle of the pile of already-read books that was strewn across the floor--but it will all be okay. Those toddlers will be trained and supervised, too, and someday they'll be as helpful as their big sisters, and they'll even say they love being part of your creative work because they know they're important to the family team.

So as hard as it may be to let your creative projects sit on the back burner for a day or season, don't let it ruffle you. Take the day to make cookies with your toddlers and teach them how to properly measure and stir. Guide your 5-year-olds through making their own sandwiches. Show the 8-year-old how the dryer works. It's okay to be content with a paragraph instead of a page today. Your kids will grow up and give you time for a whole chapter.

And you'll find yourself wondering, despite yourself, why it had to happen so fast.