Girls will be girls (and a list!)

Illustration by Robin Preiss Glasser

In a home whose X to Y chromosome ratio is 9:1, we spend a lot of time being girly. Thinking about girly things. Doing girly things. Thinking about what it means to be a girl.

And as a writer, I find that femininity is a theme that keeps coming into my stories. I guess having three daughters makes you think thrice about the type of girls you represent in your stories, about the types of role models you are creating for any young lady who reads your books. My daughters are 4 ½, 2, and nine months--thus yet unburdened with society’s vision of what a girl should be. Lucy, the oldest, is a fearless creator with a beautiful imagination. Zoe, at 2, has a personality that seems to double in strength with each day that passes. Even Genevieve, only a baby, shows her burgeoning personality in so many ways: in her cuddling and her smiles and her sweet brown eyes. Every day I tell them that God made them so beautiful. The two that can talk say, “We know that.” They haven’t learned yet, and I pray it will be a long time before they do, that much of popular society would rather view them as objects than as people. That their beauty will be defined by their weight or their height or how absurdly thin they pluck their eyebrows. That their creativity will be questioned if it doesn’t fit into a certain box the world has fashioned.

Fortunately, they have a family who can counter that, a mother and grandmothers and eight beautiful aunts and several girl cousins who are wonderful role models in what it means to be a lady, a father who isn’t afraid to be their father (or get down on his knees so he can teach them to waltz), grandfathers and uncles and boy cousins who love and respect them. I had a similar experience growing up, but I know that not every girl is so blessed.

Which brings me back to the book side of the issue. Even with my wonderful family, I found that the books I read helped me decide the girl I wanted to be. Even though my daughters have respect and love and support from all angles, I still make a point to read books to them that will strengthen the positive image of strong femininity that they already have. So here’s the list (you know how I love lists ;) of girls being girls in the best possible ways:

1. Fancy Nancy (and series), by Jane O’Connor. Don’t let the glitter and the enthusiastic marketing job fool you. These stories have a spunky, creative heroine who is actually beautifully unselfish and finds great strength in her family. The fact that she’s not afraid to wear a tiara in public should be viewed as a plus.

2. Ladybug Girl (and series), by David Soman and Jackie Davis. Girl out to save the world. One backyard at a time. In a tutu and wings, of course.

3. Fanny, by Holly Hobbie. Fanny wants a Connie doll (strikingly resembling the scary Bratz dolls) like all her friends have, but when her mother refuses to buy her one, Fanny decides to sew her own rag doll. Wonderful.

4. Christina Katerina and the Box, by Patricia Lee Gauch. One of my favorite picture book heroines ever. The book is out of print, but I’ve heard rumors that it is being reprinted. Hooray! (Also, her Tanya books definitely deserve to be on this list.)

5. Little House in the Big Woods (and series), by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Pioneer women are my heroes. They raised families, baked homemade bread, fought off wolves and weather and bad guys, and still found time to sew beautiful dresses. (For girls who are still lap-readers, there’s a lovely set of picture books using chapters from the books and illustrated in a very beautiful Garth Williams-esque style.)

6. Betsy-Tacy (and series) by Maud Hart Lovelace. Set in turn-of-the-century Minnesota, these books are full of wide skirts and wide hats and parties and pompadours. And the beauty of friendship, what it means to be a lady, and the importance of respecting yourself. The main character wants to be a writer, and no one close to her ever tells her that she won’t succeed.

7. Everything by L. M. Montgomery. Of course the Anne books go without saying, but I love the focus on creativity in the Emily series, especially.

8. The Goose Girl (and series), by Shannon Hale. Which proves that you don’t have to wield a sword twice your size to have serious girl power.

9. Ella Enchanted and Fairest, by Gail Carson Levine. I love all her stories, but these two in particular embody the themes I want my girls to learn. The first has a beautiful message of selflessness and courage, and the second approaches the idea of image in the context of a gripping story.

10. Eight Cousins and Rose in Bloom, by Louisa May Alcott. Like all Alcott’s stories, they might be a teency bit on the preachy side, but the love story is so sweet and the girls are ladies and the boys are gentlemen and the friendships are of the truest sort. Everything a girl should know about self-worth and self-image and self-respect and education and the fun of wearing a pretty dress is in these books.

A very incomplete list--which is a good thing, because it means there’s an abundance of stories for my girls to read and from which to learn. And, oh, I can’t wait for the day I give Lucy her very own copy of Pride and Prejudice....if every girl in the world read Pride and Prejudice the world would be a better place.

And, now, with this inspiration behind me, I’m off to work on my own stories of brave and strong and good young women. They’ve got a lot to live up to....

(Note: I'm an Amazon affiliate, so if you buy any of these books after clicking on the images, I will get a small percentage of the sale.)